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Why I DIDN'T Choose a Diamond For My Engagement Ring

· Love,Life


It’s a cold and somewhat wet evening. Snow had started to melt earlier in the day from the sun’s heat, and the wind was starting to freeze it over again. ALEXIS (24, probably hangry), VLAD (28, handsome as hell), and NADIA (ageless, someone out of a novel) walk to the steps of the building. The old town City Hall is decked out in lights; the three stand in awe of the celestial-like rays emanating from the building.

Hey Nadia, could you take our picture?



Sure! Alexis, get up on the steps.


Fine. Not sure why we shouldn’t just
hit the bar first….


February 9, 2020 is a day I’ll never forget.

I stammered out a “Yes” to a man who was
kneeling before me on a cold winters’ night.

I didn’t even look at the ring until a couple

minutes of ardent hugging, half-crying

half-laughing later. He opens the box and --

Okay okay I’ll stop being a screenwriter for a sec. You’re not here to be pitched a rom-com script that would rival anything Hallmark can put out (but if you’re interested, you know where to find me).

So last March (2019), my mother dropped the bomb that Vlad had asked for permission to marry me. We were in a bar and I was excitedly relaying the notification from Pintrest I had gotten that Vlad had accepted my invite to my “Engagement Ring Designs” board. She made this face, the one that people do when they have a secret and they WANT you to pry it out of them, and she told me. I was shocked. I was happy, but I didn’t expect it so soon!

Of course, Vlad wasn’t exactly pleased that my mom spilled the beans, but it didn’t matter. In fact, it actually helped the conversation.

You see, it’s so easy to go through Pintrest or Etsy or a mall and say “Ooh, I like that and that and that and that!” The shiny, the sparkly, the edgy, the expensive. I’m pretty sure I heard our wallets shrivel looking at some of these “why-the-f***-is-it-that-expensive” prices.

But Vlad knows me well. And he gave me a budget.

Yes, you read that correctly. My now-fiance gave me a budget. And I’m happy he did. I wasn’t disappointed getting a limit, because I operate under a theory that I should see limitations as a propeller to make the unique out of the ordinary. It’s why I love making films, especially indies. That, and I also knew I wouldn't be happy if I knew he bought me a ring uncomfortably out of price range because "I wanted it".

Anyway, I took that theory and that budget and went to work. I’d already read and knew all about cuts, colors, clarities, shapes, Mohs scores, etc so Vlad and I agreed that I should pick the center stone because I’m picky and a massive rock nerd. (Thanks, outdoor school.) He would take care of the rest.

Diamonds. Are. Expensive.

And honestly I don’t know why. They’re colorless pieces of hardened carbon, which is the most abundant element on the planet. (They actually charge MORE the LESS color they have!)

While they’ll shine under the lights at the jewelry store, what happens if you’re at the DMV just sitting around? Like, unless you have hours light a room, there’s a high chance that a diamond would only look good if I was working on set with a gaffer.

Okay, but red rubies and blue sapphires are some things I would never wear. I’m not the biggest fan or amethyst and while yellow is my favorite color, I can’t stand canary diamonds.

Hours of procrastinating on various edits for clients and rewrites of my own projects lead me down a crappy rabbit hole of Etsy guilt and Pinterest paranoia. The rings I liked were either too expensive or something I didn’t LOVE. I took a walk to clear my head.

I looked up at the trees and down at the ground. I breathed in fresh, non-electronics-filled air. After about 20 minutes, I felt great. And I loved my environment. Everything was so verdant and lovely….

I looked up green sapphires and fell in love with the stone. But natural ones were just as expensive, if not more expensive, than diamonds. After another month or so of scrolling through various natural and synthetic sapphire shops on Etsy (there’s a TON), I found one that was the perfect size, the perfect price… and the perfect color.

My sapphire had been on the site for a while, and it was because it wasn’t pure green. It had hints of yellow, orange, red, purple, pink and blue depending on the angle and the light. I could see it in the video, and I fell in love with it. (It’s funny, depending on when I meet people, they don’t believe it’s a green sapphire unless we are in the right light setting!) I sent it to Vlad.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am.”


He bought it. Fast forward 10 months-

PC: Nadia, who is an amazing person and a great friend.



February 9, 2020 is a day I’ll never forget.

I stammered out a “Yes” to a man who was

Kneeling before me on a cold winters’ night.

I didn’t even look at the ring until a couple

minutes of half-crying half-laughing later. He

opens the box and I see the ring, with its green

sapphire, flanked by two crystal clear and shining

pear diamonds in a gold setting shaped like a flower.

And it is perfect for me, just like he is.


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